Pat Robertson: Irrelevant buffoon, or psychopath?

You've probably caught a whiff of the latest flatulence emanating from Pat Robertson's upper sphincter: that disaster may strike Dover, Pennsylvania, because they "rejected" God by replacing eight school board members who wanted intelligent design taught in biology classes. Yesterday on his "Christian" Broadcasting Network show, "700 Club" (700 what? outrageous, bizarre statements per week?), Robertson said, "I'd like to say to the good citizens of Dover: If there is a disaster in your area, don't turn to God. You just rejected him from your city."

Later, of course, Robertson tried to patch things up by saying he was only trying to point out that "our spiritual actions have consequences." Are you listening to yourself, Mr. Robertson?

"God is tolerant and loving, but we can't keep sticking our finger in his eye forever," Robertson said. "If they have future problems in Dover, I recommend they call on Charles Darwin. Maybe he can help them."

Neither God nor Darwin can help you, Mr. Robertson. You obviously are a product of neither intelligent design nor evolution.

In the past, Mr. Robertson has also suggested that:
* the U.S. assassinate Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez
* feminism encourages women to "kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians"
* the State Department be blown up with a nuclear device

Why hasn't the State Department investigated Mr. Robertson as a potential terrorist? Is it because, for wealthy white "Christian" men, the right to free speech means the right to verbally threaten anyone they choose? Is it because they know he's a lunatic and can't be taken seriously? Or is it, in fact, because no one is really paying attention to anything anyone says anymore?

Coo coo ca choo, Mr. Robertson, Jesus loves you more than anyone I know! Whoa ho ho!

(Thanks to Eric Dickey for the scoop and the song spoof.)