<!-- Begin meta tags generated by ORblogs --> </meta name="keywords" content="progressive, liberal, politics, government, edit, language, grammar, accuracy, honesty, clarity, world, news, media" /> </> <!-- End meta tags generated by ORblogs -->> Editor at Large: Disorientation, vertigo, and nausea - oh my!

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Disorientation, vertigo, and nausea - oh my!

The Department of Homeland Security has finally done something useful. They've come up with a new device to fight bad guys: a flashlight that makes you throw up. That's right - throw up, vomit, puke, barf, hurl, ralph, upchuck, lose your lunch, retch, blow cookies.

How can a flashlight do that? It has a very bright light that pulses and changes color and duration, which reportedly induces disorientation, vertigo, and nausea. (Don't we already have TV for that?)

So, why would bad guys keep staring into something that makes them feel sick? "The light could be used to make a bad guy turn away or shut his eyes," the DHS says, "giving authorities enough time to tackle the suspect and apply the cuffs...all while sparing the lives of passersby, hostages, or airline passengers."

Bob Lieberman, one of the flashlight's developers, adds, "There are often confrontations at border crossings with suspected illegal aliens or drug runners. You don’t want to hurt or kill them, just take them into custody. With this,” he smiles, “they don’t need to know English to comply.”

This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine...



Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think the light shows images of Bush and Laura in the buff. Who needs a light, just typing that makes me want to hurl.

8:22 AM  
Blogger crallspace said...

Well anonymous, I just saw an episode of Roseanne last night where her and Dan Conner were depicted in the nude.

Talk about wanting to hurl.

10:44 AM  
Blogger Editor at Large said...

Anonymous and Crall: In the future, please refrain from commenting until we're done eating, will ya?

3:50 PM  

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