Yet another awkward McCain moment

John McCain just can't seem to get his brain in sync with reality. How is it that 44% of Americans still think this senile old shell would make a good president? Did they not hear McCain call them "My fellow prisoners"? Do they not notice the anger in his eyes, his voice, his gestures? Do they not see his face twitch every time he lies to them?

Senator McCain, since your supporters won't tell you, I guess I'll have to: It's over. Not even Joe the Plumber can unclog your pipes--especially when he doesn't bother to show up at your rallies. That has to be embarrassing. Take my advice and save yourself any further embarrassment...concede the election and check into a nursing home. With your millions, you should be able to afford the best in PTSD therapy and dementia treatment.

If you don't vote, these people will win

How to deal with stolen lawn signs

Palin caught wearing Democratic scarf

You'd think for $150,000 they could at least find a scarf with elephants on it instead of donkeys.

You'd also think Sarah Palin and her handlers would be more careful.

But maybe this is just another weird McCain campaign strategy, designed to subliminally motivate people to vote for...a jackass?

McCain agrees: western Pennsylvania is racist

At least when Joe Biden says something questionable, it can be interpreted more than one way.

When John McCain says something questionable, however, there is only one way to interpret it: the man has lost his marbles.

Gays for McCain

McCain isn't for gays, but apparently some gays are for McCain.

Or are they?

How McCain's own typos derailed his Straight Talk Express

An astute observation from political commentator Erin Wenz:

You know how you sometimes go to type an e-mail and you accidentally shift the position of your fingers to the right or left by one set of keys? You intend to type "Now is the time," and it comes out "Mpeod yjr yo,r"?  

That's the whole McCain campaign - their fingers are on the wrong keys. They get an evangelist on the ticket to fire up the base, and it turns out she's ethically challenged, has an unmarried pregnant daughter whose boyfriend is basically a thug, and she doesn't know Siberia from Serbia. 

McCain parachutes into Washington to rescue the country's economy and ends up doing nothing but having dinner at the Liebermans'. They make an issue of Bill Ayers, and they go down in the polls.  

And finally, this thing with Joe the Plumber is too funny. They try to connect with the Common Man, and expose the poor doofus for plumbing without a license!

I wish we could have the election tomorrow and put McCain out of his misery.

...and put the rest of us out of our misery, too!

Geezer/Gidget '08!

© 2008 Editor at Large. Go ahead and share it any way you like, but promise you won't take credit, okay? Thanks.

First Carter, then Gore, now Krugman

Isn't it interesting how all these libruls who've been warning us for years about the Bush Doctrine, climate change, oil, and economic collapse keep winning Nobel Prizes?

Yeah, yeah, I know: the Nobel committee is also a bunch of libruls.

The real McCain

The best caption for this weird photo wins an all-expenses-paid trip to Candy Mountain.

Who's "palling around" with terrorists?

Todd and Sarah Palin are.

What's wrong with John McCain?

Is he a conservative with liberal leanings, or is he a liberal with conservative leanings? Is he a war hero, or is he just one of hundreds of American soldiers who were unlucky enough to be captured by the enemy - after dropping dozens of bombs on innocent civilians? Is he a bright, caring public servant whose hot temper reflects his passion for helping his fellow Americans, or is he a spoiled brat with post-traumatic stress disorder?

Is he really a maverick, or is he just a rogue?

It seems weirdly easy for just about anyone, liberal or conservative, to come up with things that are wrong with John McCain. What's hard is coming up with things that are right with him. If you happen to know any, please drop me a line. Meanwhile, here's a partial list of things that people on both sides of the political aisle agree are wrong with John McCain.

The truth about Obama's record

John McCain and Sarah Palin often ridicule Barack Obama's past experience as a community organizer, as if volunteering one's time to help improve one's community is a laughable waste of time. They also scoff at Obama's brief tenure as a senator, implying that he hasn't been in the job long enough to accomplish anything of value.

The truth is, in three short years as a senator, Barack Obama has:
• sponsored or co-sponsored 570 bills
• sponsored or co-sponsored 15 bills that have become law
• introduced amendments to 50 bills, of which 16 were adopted by the Senate

Most of his legislative efforts have been in the areas of:
• energy efficiency and climate change (25 bills)
• health care (21 bills) and public health (20 bills)
• consumer protection/labor (14 bills)
• the needs of veterans and the armed forces (13 bills)
• Congressional ethics and accountability (12 bills)
• foreign policy (10 bills)
• voting and elections (9 bills)
• education (7 bills)
• Hurricane Katrina relief (6 bills)
• the environment (5 bills)
• homeland security (4 bills)
• discrimination (4 bills)

Also, just to dispel rumors to the contrary (promulgated by Mr. and Ms. "Country First"), Obama will not raise your taxes, unless you make more than $250,000 a year. If you make between $150,000 and $250,000, your taxes will stay the same; if you make less than $150,000, your taxes will decrease.

So...what is Sarah Palin winking about?

The void behind Sarah Palin's facade

That wasn't a debate; it was a regurgitation. A binge followed by a purge.

Sarah Palin was very well coached and very well rehearsed, and she did an admirable job of remembering and reciting most of her campaign's talking points - all while smiling and winking and being cute, you betcha.

But was she vice presidential?

No, she was Sarah Palin - a walking, talking, beauty-pageant Barbie, programmed by men to play men's games, fulfill men's fantasies, and embody men's perverse, paranoid, patriarchal, misogynistic worldview. She is still that 20-year-old beauty-pageant contestant in a swimsuit, strutting self-assuredly across the stage, turning this way and that to let the salivating boys and wide-eyed girls gaze at her breasts, her hips, her butt, her legs.

Men who say they like her mean they like fantasizing about having sex with her.

Women who say they like her don't understand who she really is or what she really represents.

I hope they figure it out before November 4th.

Meanwhile, here's an inside peek at the void behind Sarah Palin's facade.