In honor of Florida's decision to put Ralph Nader on its ballot for November's election, we are resurrecting and updating our song from the 2000 election, "Blame Florida" (with apologies to South Park's "Blame Canada"):
(sung to the tune of “Blame Canada,” from the movie "South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut")
Times have changed
Elections are getting worse
They won’t obey the voters
They just want to fill their purse!
Should we blame the government?
Or blame society?
Or should we blame the news on TV?
No, blame Florida
With their misleading little ballots
And flappin’ mouths so full of lies
We need to form a full assault
It’s Florida’s fault!
Don’t blame Ralph or Diebold
For reducing John’s votes
They didn’t design the ballots
And they didn’t write his quotes!
But George’s brother Jeb
Is governor of the state
And he thinks the ballot counts are first rate!
Well, blame Florida
It seems that everything’s gone wrong
Since Florida came along
They’re not even a real state anyway
George and John could’ve been drunks or bums it’s true
Instead they want to be President of this zoo
Should we blame their fathers?
Should we blame their mothers?
Or their sisters or their brothers?
With all their Disney World hullabaloo
And Glenda Hood too
Shame on Florida
The recounts we must stop
The ballots we must trash
The election must all be redone
We must blame Florida and cause a fuss
Before someone thinks of blaming us...